pemdas
Oracle Knight
There's no taste like home!!
Posts: 127
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Post by pemdas on Dec 10, 2009 12:04:32 GMT -5
Sorry it's lengthy but I'm just trying to help...and of course you have no obligations to take my advice. Well...it also depends on what you're not confident about... like your looks? Well experiment a bit and see what you like most and try to embody the person you want to become. Maybe a haircut might give you a little boost. I'm not saying you should totally change yourself on the outside (cause that's so shallow) but it's a starting point and just start with what you can do. *it does work for me...god I think of Luke from Abyss every time I get a haircut now* As for asking someone out....that's a tough one but I always say to myself that the worse thing that can happen is that they reject me and that's not always a bad thing cause then you find someone even better later. Meditation and exercise and just taking good care of yourself also helps. Be around people who make you feel good about yourself. Who are healthy for you and give you plenty of compliments! Focus on the things you're really good at....it's kind of funny but I was reading a book required for a class called How We Are Smart and it made me feel a bit better about myself because it explains that there are 8 different ways of being smart and which one us readers could be and that just because we don't know certain things very well (like math) or we don't know everything doesn't mean that we're not smart...like there's logic smart, people smart, body smart etc....it's how we process the info that counts! And I have to agree with the person who said that therapy didn't work for them...I went through so many different therapists and it only got worse and the thing that actually helped me out so much was that I had someone there for me to make me feel better about myself when I needed them and they were honest and give good/realistic feedback, I read books, and I changed my attitude about whatever it was that bothered me, somewhat. I really like this saying by Maya Angelou "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, then change the way you think about it." Well let us know how you're doing and I hope all goes well...
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Post by Hiro the Half-Elf on Dec 10, 2009 13:20:42 GMT -5
Therapists are a mixed bag. My wife has been through a ton in the past half-decade or so, only got a good one now.
Conversely, Freud was apparently such a good therapist that all of his patients wanted in his pants.
To be honest, I have to agree with Sam. Children's television and stories do the heart a world of good. Sometimes you just need the magic of a hero, you know?
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Post by snoozysam on Dec 10, 2009 17:39:04 GMT -5
To be honest, I have to agree with Sam. Children's television and stories do the heart a world of good. Sometimes you just need the magic of a hero, you know? Damn straight.
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Post by Youngster Joey on Dec 10, 2009 18:21:39 GMT -5
Conversely, Freud was apparently such a good therapist that all of his patients wanted in his pants. He also dispensed cocaine to his patients :'D (Though, to be fair, they thought cocaine was a-OK back then.) Slightly off-topic, but I think it'd be really awkward to have Freud as a father.
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Post by Miguel on Dec 11, 2009 17:14:54 GMT -5
Thanks for all of the advice, guys! I really appreciate it! I'll post again after awhile and see how things go. I'll try out as many things as I can to see what works best.
Getting responses like this is a confidence builder of its own, to be honest.
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Post by Umbra on Dec 11, 2009 19:24:00 GMT -5
A little late responding, but perhaps you will consider my idea.
I too have been in a similar pessimistic situation as you. How did I get out of it? Music. Music was the answer for me, not just listening to it but playing music. If you have a piano, guitar, clarinet, trumpet, or whatever, practice it and though you may not be an excellent player, playing the music itself can clear up depressing thoughts. If you don't have an instrument, learn to play one. You'd be surprised how much you learn and how much fun you have with it. You could call this music therapy (without the therapist.)
Whether or not you want to play music is up to you, but you also could just listen to music. Not the kind of music that influences bad behavior or thoughts but perhaps a piano soloist or a "good" rock group.
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Post by Youngster Joey on Dec 11, 2009 22:38:48 GMT -5
Also, as one final note, try honing in on something people have always said you're good at. I've personally always had a really easy time with language, so pursuing foreign languages and excelling at it was/is a real confidence booster.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2009 12:48:08 GMT -5
I can put it in a simple way
1/if you have lame freinds...throw them right away 2/find freinds who can stand for you in critical times 3/no need to worry if you're doing the right thing 4/be honest with yourself 5/never give a damn care for what others say about you
uhhh......some may think I'm freak but this one worked for me
6/stay away from Girls
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Post by Youngster Joey on Dec 12, 2009 16:32:17 GMT -5
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Post by sukotsuto on Dec 12, 2009 16:51:03 GMT -5
I don't know much about therapies, but all I can say is in order to be confident, you have to think positive. If you're not positive that you can do it, you're not confident. Simple as that.
Sometimes, it's hard to build confidence by yourself, so you have to have the help of people or things to help boost your confidence. Hobbies can help too, like listening to music, or even martial arts (which is my thing).
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2009 9:49:10 GMT -5
@latooni: just follow the leader man!!!!
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Post by Miguel on Dec 31, 2009 1:18:33 GMT -5
Thanks, I really appreciate the comments. Since my last post, I've gotten a slightly more positive view in life. Old habits are hard to break... To the point where I may relapse ( once again) into my old habits. On a positive note, I did apply for a job earlier this week. I hope I get a reply before next Monday, though. If not, then... Things are going to get complicated. Anyways... Music. Music was the answer for me, not just listening to it but playing music. One of the things that have keep me going (way before I even made this thread) was music. I listen to music almost every day and it helped me a lot during high school. I... I can't imagine where I'd be without music. On the other hand, I can't really make music myself. If I could, I would attempt to learn. Also, as one final note, try honing in on something people have always said you're good at. I've personally always had a really easy time with language, so pursuing foreign languages and excelling at it was/is a real confidence booster. I'm not really sure what I'm "good" at these days. Aside from making up excuses for myself/talking myself out of doing things out of the ordinary, anyways. I can put it in a simple way 1/if you have lame freinds...throw them right away 2/find freinds who can stand for you in critical times 3/no need to worry if you're doing the right thing 4/be honest with yourself 5/never give a damn care for what others say about you uhhh......some may think I'm freak but this one worked for me 6/stay away from Girls Hmm. I can understand one and two. "If they won't stand by you, they aren't a true friend" or something. One is something I've done in the past out of pure selfishness. Needless to say, "what goes around comes around." Three is something I could work on. Four, I've been trying to do for quite a while now. Five has always been an issue for me. Always. I try to shrug it off, but I still feel hurt in the end. Six? Six months and counting (offline.) I would like to change this, though. I don't know much about therapies, but all I can say is in order to be confident, you have to think positive. If you're not positive that you can do it, you're not confident. Simple as that. Heh. So true. For me, I am rather weak. Kind of trying to keep my current endeavors to myself, even though that's not really the case. I still appreciate the advice, though. Not just for me, but for anyone else with similar problems to my own.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2009 13:13:17 GMT -5
no one said this would be easy.....you have to work hard to gain confidence.....
but more important......have confidence in God.....
Men are weak creatures.....
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Post by Chochita Roeru on Jan 1, 2010 9:00:33 GMT -5
^ yep
as Latooni said, I also got problem about dont care bout what people said Need solution for that too...
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