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Post by Youngster Joey on Sept 19, 2020 15:55:53 GMT -5
Blugh, at my friend’s through Monday and just turned him down. Now things are quietly awkward.
It was the right thing to do to kill it, but this is so awkward... bah. I feel bad. It’s my fault. I should have put the kibosh on it earlier...
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Post by Friendly Person :) on Sept 19, 2020 20:28:16 GMT -5
Joey, it seems like a lot of your male friends end up asking you out. I'm curious... is this just a thing because you're female, or do you think that maybe you're doing something to lead them on without realising it?
-edit- I'm not accusing you or anything, hopefully that's obvious?
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Derman
Oracle Knight
I still don't have a knife tag on my golden birth knife
Posts: 194
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Post by Derman on Sept 20, 2020 8:57:38 GMT -5
Well I've got a question for Derman! Is it true that in Helsinki you can walk two steps and find wasted people just lying on the ground? Isn't it cold? Can't you, like, die from that? I normally let my manager grain handle asking and answering questions, but I guess I can make an exception this time. I've actually been to Helsinki only a few times in my life, but based on how it's everywhere else I'd say it is true. It's not *that* common, but you see pretty often. And yes, it's cold, especially in winter. And yes, you can die from that, and people do. I think it's part of our Police's everyday job to carry those people around.
Seems like I'm still the youngest (22) person here. tbh I don't really care about age that much, but I was curious where you would fit in the age spectrum of the forum users.
That sounds like a nightmare. Sucks having to always be careful around friends just to avoid situations like that.
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Post by Friendly Person :) on Sept 20, 2020 16:11:13 GMT -5
Hey Umbra, Derman wants to know if you're an only child. He's convinced we might be twins.
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Post by Friendly Person :) on Sept 21, 2020 0:43:46 GMT -5
One more episode of Oregairu left, but -it- finally happened (no spoilers for Derman), andgosh darn it was adorable.
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Post by Youngster Joey on Sept 21, 2020 17:24:49 GMT -5
Please, grain, you think I have that many friends??
In all seriousness, said friend has confessed before. I f**ked up because he told me he would like to take me out on a date, and I said sure, but not right now because I just got out of a relationship. I told him I would let him know. Then we made plans to meet before he moved out of Chicago, and apparently he thought our meeting up was the date. I, uh, didn’t. So, that was awkward. I understand why he thought that.... I just never connected the dots. So he ended up asking me on Saturday if I was out in Chicago and had told him before my situation was complicated, did my presence mean it was no longer complicated?
Well... no, I thought we were just hanging out, my situation is still complicated (he doesn’t know details, nor would I ever tell him), and I’ve decided I don’t want any long distance relationships.
We managed to make the rest of the weekend not awkward, but I definitely hurt him, and I would not blame him if he decided to end the friendship.
I guess really I was never interested; I was trying to be open-minded in considering it, because hey, who knows until you try? But deep down, I just don’t see the compatibility... the weekend kinda solidified it, not that anything bad happened, just realized... I really do value different things. I like him a lot as a friend, but that’s it. Should’ve just said no to the original question and avoided a lot of hurt.
So, long story short, I am an a**hole who broke a friend’s heart. I’m also not very socially astute. Of course he thought I was probably coming out for a date... I’m so thick.
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Post by Umbra on Sept 22, 2020 1:23:00 GMT -5
So one of my bosses called me in to talk about the fact that I'm underperforming. Yeah, I know I suck at my job. I've kind of reached my ceiling after 5 months. Self-awareness is a b*tch sometimes. Thinking about transferring to a stocking position, even if it will give me fewer hours. I'll just have to budget more for Japan. Tired of having to pick multiple orders with time limits. And my co-workers, a strict veteran mom and a disagreeable, apathetic college-age dude. Just, ugh. It's one of those situations where you KNOW you could be doing something more fulfilling for your level of education and experience, but you just have to humble yourself and accept your current situation.
I can't imagine having to deal with those situations, YJ. And if memory serves me, you seem to be relatively good-looking to boot. But when you said you just got out of a relationship, was that a white lie because I thought you were asexual?
Ok, Derman, now I'm kind of curious. Why is Grain the manager? Are you the assistant, Derman? Also, for the record, I am a middle child, quite a troublesome one I might add.
Currently watching LotR but every time Sam takes a step towards Mordor he says it'll be the farthest he's ever been...And even though I am drinking, I think it would be a terrible idea to make this into a drinking game. I'd be dead before the 9:00 hour film, Fellowship of the Ring, courtesy of Sam the hobbit.
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Derman
Oracle Knight
I still don't have a knife tag on my golden birth knife
Posts: 194
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Post by Derman on Sept 22, 2020 11:43:07 GMT -5
Ok, Derman, now I'm kind of curious. Why is Grain the manager? Are you the assistant, Derman? Also, for the record, I am a middle child, quite a troublesome one I might add. I was joking with Grain how you two have so many random things in common (tall, green eyes, metal, going to japan, and also age apparently) that you might actually be twins. As for why grain is asking the questions for me... no clue. Maybe he thinks I'm too shy to ask myself. But welcome to the middle children's club, life's pretty weird around here sometimes.
Speaking of twins... Someone shared a news article about police looking for info on a suspect involved in a "serious crime". There was only one low-resolution security camera image of the suspect, and honestly seeing the image first (because the person sharing decided it would be funny to share an image with the face only first, and the article later), I was 90% sure it was me. And a lot of other people are saying the same thing. The crime happened over a year ago, in a city I have only visited once in my life two years ago. And looking at the full picture of the person it's more like extremely skinny version of myself. So obviously it's not me. ...but I got spooked pretty bad regardless.
Also, Joey, saying "sure, but not right now" definitely would give me strong "maybe yes" vibes, so I'm not surprised he interpreted the rest of it the way he did. Not that you need me telling you that anymore, I guess you already know how it happened. Either way, it's acrappy situation, and I hope your friendship doesn't suffer too much. Finding good friends isn't easy.
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Post by Youngster Joey on Sept 22, 2020 14:47:33 GMT -5
I am asexual, yes. I am not titillated in any way by either sex. Romance is a separate thing from attraction, though. Do I sound like a Tumblrina saying that? Sometimes I think I do--I've seen truly the most absurd [insert-word]sexual terms bandied about in what seems like a slavish devotion to snowflake labels--but it's the truth.
Anyway, I kind of left without addressing the topic again at the airport. I haven't really figured out whether I should bring it up again. I mean, I'm not going to change my mind. Do I apologize again and validate his hurt? Pretend like it never happened? Give him his space? I dunno. I'm not sure what's more painful for him, so I'm just electing for "giving space" for now... maybe this is just me subconsciously selfishly avoiding a hard situation.
I'm always very curious to know what my dopplegangers look like when people say they've seen one. My siblings insist I look like Anne Frank, but I don't see the resemblance aside from hair color, really. I've gotten compared to Ellen Page before. I think because my personality is a bit Juno-ish, too, and she's best known for that role.
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Post by Youngster Joey on Sept 23, 2020 12:50:13 GMT -5
I wonder how life began.
It's kind of pointless, isn't it? I mean, from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense that we aspire to live, because a species wouldn't exist if it didn't.
But why? What's the point?
This is one of the vexingly paradoxical things about being alive, I think, because the thought of death is terrifying, but, on the other hand, can you give a single reason why you should stay alive? "Not wanting to die" isn't good enough. What's the point of life, other than to not die? Genuine question, not a rhetorical one.
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Post by Friendly Person :) on Sept 23, 2020 13:43:40 GMT -5
Personally I don't believe there is a point. Even the concept of questioning your own existence is something beyond every creature other than humans due to the development of the critical thinking parts of the brain. In other words, questioning the point of life is irrelevant to the sustainability of life, and is therefor an evolutionary insignificant. However, being humans and thus being capable of questioning this existence, I feel it is therefor our privilage to also develop our own answer.
To put it another way, I don't believe there is any cosmological purpose to our existence, therefor it falls upon us to justify it for ourselves.
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Derman
Oracle Knight
I still don't have a knife tag on my golden birth knife
Posts: 194
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Post by Derman on Sept 23, 2020 14:41:23 GMT -5
I think the fact that we as living people can question the reason of our own existence is somewhat illogical, since I think it more often goes against the idea of advancing the species. But I second what grain said. Defining the reason is on ourselves, and I think for most people it boils down to "I prefer living".
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Post by Youngster Joey on Sept 23, 2020 15:34:02 GMT -5
That's kind of a depressing thought, heh.
I suppose that's part of the appeal of religion. I've always viewed religion as a way of explaining the unexplainable and as consolation for life's injustices. As more things become explainable, and as the inequities of life diminish*, the appeal of religion has gone down. But it does still answer that existential question, I suppose. I don't believe in a god, though, so it doesn't do me much good.
*Obviously life is still unfair, but it's less absolutely unfair in developed countries than it historically has been. No matter howcrappy someone's life is in the US, for instance, they're generally not dying of starvation or dysentery before the age of 5.
My greatest fear is to be old and still not have a purpose in life. I'm assuming most people don't give it a lot of thought, which bugs me. It's a really depressing thought! I'd rather not have it and just live ignorantly.
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Post by Friendly Person :) on Sept 23, 2020 16:35:21 GMT -5
It's not something for which there is an easy answer, nor I suspect given your disposition could an answer be given. It's just something you'll have to come up with yourself. Again, my personal philosophy is that overthinking it is a waste of time. It's why I'm ultimately an apatheist: I fail to see how the existence (or absence) of a divine being should ultimately impact life, because being a "good" person is (by my metric) about more than just what you believe, but rather what you practice as well as believe.
Another way of approaching it, which you may agree or disagree with but which has given me some thought, is how selfish it is to think that you deserve a purpose. I mean, if you believe that you need to have some purpose in life, it's essentially the same as feeling like there's something in life that only you can do, or that you can do better than anyone else. After all, what makes you (much less humanity as a whole) any more significant than anything else in the universe? Why are you so special that you have to have a purpose?
Not saying it to put you down, just that it's a world-view that I've heard that has made me think. Hopefully it can help a little in crafting an answer.
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Post by Umbra on Sept 23, 2020 18:44:54 GMT -5
Why is it that people work instead of sitting around all day? Even if you had the option of sitting around all day would you rather choose to do that or to work? If you were in the Gulags, would you rather work and die or sit and die? If you were Sisyphus, would you rather roll the boulder up the hill even though you know it will fall back down again, or would you prefer to just keel over? Why is it that people choose to start families all while knowing the downsides of doing so?
Responsibility gives life meaning. You have a role to fill, which means you are important, which allows you to develop a concept about yourself. You have a responsibility to help your friends and family. If a friend is sick, you will not give them medicine that will harm them. You will give them medicine that will help them because that is what being a good friend means. You have a responsibility to live your life, because a mother endured nine months of pregnancy for you to have been born. That means you have a responsibility to be good to yourself as you would your friend and do meaningful things.
For all intents and purposes, I do believe in God as a Christian by faith, but I have also been influenced by Buddhism, Taoism, and Vedanta (Hinduism). How I arrived here as a former-agnostic-former-Christian is a story for another day. Yes, I did hyphenate that.
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